Where is Jamey Jasta and Headbanger’s Ball when you need ’em? Just kidding, although without them, this particular creature would never have heard Mastodon in time to see them support Slayer, or bore witness to the emergence of the NWOAHM, primarily given it’s opportunity through that show. Now, as I have some time on my hands, I will be taking over the Jasta role (not really) by picking and choosing some of the best music videos of the year, giving them a few words and creating a uniquely hilarious and pointless tally system. These are all music videos released this year, the tracks themselves may have been released prior to 2015. Just in case one of you wily Internet types try to kick off. Enjoi.

Ingested – “Narcissistic Apathy” (Tom J Cronin)


How very British. Poisoning an entire restaurant but bugger, someone got away. Never mind, couple of quick cleaves to the dome and hey, a sick music video from Ingested. One of my favourite tracks from The Age Of Extinction, the video for “Narcissistic Apathy” is pretty much on point. As an ex-member of the hospitality industry, I fully get where this video comes from and ends up. I’d quite happily have killed the entire clientele at most of the places I’ve served at. Because they’re cunts. Really love the lack of colour in this video. It’s dingy and I rate the performances edited throughout. Could have done without them but doesn’t detract from what is effectively a nice little horror movie. Service with a smile and a syringe of something tasty.

Mastodon – “Asleep In The Deep” (Skinner, Shane Morton and Video Rahim)


Never guilty of releasing a dull music video, Mastodon teamed up with the man behind the ridiculous album art of Once More ‘Round The Sun and dished out the cutest fantasy short movie starring a puppet cat you’ll ever see. “Asleep In The Deep”‘s main actor is a cat and I love cats, not so much the fucked up feline puppet that “saves the day” in this garrish, kaleidoscopic journey of psychedelia.  It’s arresting and hard to take your eyes from, leaving the song it is promoting a distant memory after six minutes of laser breathing, monster destroying cats and rats. If it was half as much fun to make as it is to enjoy, the people responsible should surely still be smiling at this. What is next for Mastodon?

Maruta – “Hope Smasher” (Mitchell Luna)


What. A. Clusterfuck. Directed by the front man himself, “Hope Smasher” is terrifying and desperately in need of an epilepsy warning. In essence a green screen performance video but oh, so much more than that, the frenetic, choppy cuts between band members and the static heavy chaos going on behind them is the perfect foil for a track as turbulent as this. The bat shit bonanza of images and the numerous, invasive camera angles used to capture Maruta and their distinct brand of proto-grind smash off each other and make for some of the most uneasy minutes of music video of 2015.

Smiling death metal frontmen: 1
Deceased foodies: a busy restaurants worth
Visuals designed to induce vomiting and/or seizure: too many to count
Real cats: 1
Hellish puppet cats: 1

There we have the first batch of the best music videos of 2015. Fight it out in the comments to share your favourites. Or use that space to tell me I’m wrong and these all suck. Your fate is in your own hands.







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