You Probably Haven’t Heard Of Us – Pretentious Hipster Garbage

PHG-REVIEW

A lot of metal musicians feel enshackled by convention and genre, and thus they are unable to break free from the reigns that constrict them, the reigns that prevent them from forever unlocking their true potential. This is where the unbound, insane mind of You Probably Haven’t Heard of Us comes in. This project that is the brainchild of Neiergåård Nils Nonary-Nielsen, the evacuated raw ideas from the womb of his intellect. Pretentious Hipster Garbage is a masterpiece of auditory phraseology. All recorded in a single take and entirely improvised, this magnum opus is a monument of euphonious achievement that will be remembered for minutes to come.

The beauty, the ephemeral pulchritude of this mixtape is in that it is expression in its purest form and articulation. Metal nowadays is so processed, packaged, fabricated, insincere. YPHHOU do not espouse that, they are pure. This entire record was recorded in a single take. And they do not care for the zeitgeist created by the populist, conformist idea of genre. On this album they have transcendental black metal, surf rock, post-metal, slam, and even a cover of As I Lay Dying‘s ‘Through Struggle’. Of course, they all do it from the depth of their hearts, and the AILD cover works perfectly. Other musicians who dare to call themselves “art”ists would not be able to comprehend the pulse of sound enough to be able to stitch together this cornucopia of aural textures, but YPHHOU manage it.

The album opens with a bold manifesto. With synths hard panned right and clean guitars hard panned left, the opener is a statement of the band’s ambition, their protestation of their acoustic exfoliation. With lyrics that are just too sagacious for the layman to comprehend, this composition scores true to the heart. I could try to explain this to you, but chances are your mind is not in an elevated enough plane to grasp the multiplicity of philosophy here.

Then we have the band’s bold and innovatory post-metal masterpiece. With lyrics that address the festering core of our age’s culture, a bellowing callout to the inimitable anxiety of being, this track is maturity at its finest. Combining a unique style of vocals with fresh and innovative post-metal experimentation, this song in particular stands out from the beckoning shallowness of existence.

Next comes up what is perhaps the boldest move on the album. Surf rock used to be the tune of the youth 50 years ago, and then it was forgotten, cast aside like the broken husk that veils humanity’s soul. YPHHOU rejects that notion, and they bring back surf in a way that has never been done before.  The depth inherent in this track and its placement alongside its comrades-in-sound, makes this track in particular stand out from the beckoning shallowness of existence.

Then we have an even bolder move. Covering As I Lay Dying’s ‘Through Struggle’ is perhaps unconventional, but it’s appropriate. Since the entire album was recorded in a single take, one can easily hear the struggling, the genuine expressionism of purity in this version. While the original song was restrained and tight, this cover is powerful, impetuous, temperamental, rousing, exquisite, emotive, poignant, impassioned and dank. The inner confusion of the alienation of playing someone else’s music is apparent in Nonary-Nielsen’s touch on his guitar, on the cadence of his fragile voice. This cover definitely surpasses and invalidates the original.

Finally we have the bold remonstrance to the genre of slam. Provocative, raw and disfiguring, this track captures what substantiates and ratifies slam, and turns it over on its own head. Life is parody of art, as the saying goes, and the justification of fragility found within the emotional verisimilitude of fidelity is enamorating. The vocal genius that came into play in the first track returns here, and it is truly existential.

Overall, YPHHOU is something. It is everything. We are a part of the universe and it resonates within us as we resonate into each other. The vibrations of our convergence encapsulate and regress the folly of dynamism. To exemplify the excommunication of man’s inner turmoil from the spiritual concavity of the aether is to control the inner fire that burns alight.

You Probably Haven’t Heard Of Us’s Pretentious Hipster Garbage gets…

5/5

-NT

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