Here we are: another month full of music and videos to go with it. This column is a pain because I know for a fact that I’ve missed a ton of great clips. I can’t watch them all. Fortunately for you, I’ve picked a bunch from the month of March for your viewing pleasure. You can look, but you can’t touch. Today, I will shit on popular metal culture, windmill my arms like a hopped up edge kid, stab people in the face and rock out in slow-mo with some metal titans.
Babymetal – “The One”
Apparently the power ballad is still alive and kicking, but this time, it just has three Japanese teens doing the kicking and me questioning whether I’m actually alive or living in a Matrix world run by frickin nerds. Shot at one of their ridiculously extravagant live shows, the video for “The One” has Babymetal in full blown Motley Crue mode, lifted over the crowd on a platform that keeps them just high enough to be out of reach of all of the sweaty greebos that attend their shows. It looks pretty, and like their stage show has a production value that makes me weep. Sob. Tearing up at the fact that so much money is pumped into this band. Fuck hair metal and fuck this band for attempting to bring it back. They sing in English for a bit on this one too, like that makes a difference.
Left Behind – “Headhunter”
Hardcore videos are awesome because they rarely ever have anything to do other than show off live shows and the hilarity and mayhem that ensue at them. Left Behind‘s “Headhunter” is no different and even has the audacity to splice a bunch of cheap looking 90’s video effects in (distressed black and white, that colour inversion that everyone used to play with on their webcams back in the day, and so on). Good, simple fun. Totally fitting for a track that blasts for twenty seconds, chugs for another minute then stomps for the remaining minute or so. If someone told me a few years ago that I’d enjoy a song as belligerent and knuckle dragging as this, I’d turn the camera on them and give them the finger. Now, this is my jam, and I can’t get enough of this short, sweet slammer. Fuck me, right?
Slayer – “You Against You”
Considering they released one of the most pleasingly average albums of last year, Slayer have put out some of my favourite all action music videos over the last few months. “You Against You” serves as the prequel to the prison riot of “Relentless,” and it’s far superior in my opinion. Taking a cue or two from The Raid‘s style of kinetic, close quarters combat (and the directors work on horror movies like Hatchet 3), the video has the protagonist ploughing through a video-game-amount of bad guys, using guns, knives and fists. The action is ridiculous, slapstick and gruesome, and actually makes this song bearable, something I never thought was possible after having to review their album last year. There better be a third part with even more close range headshots. Bring it on Slayer.
Architects – “A Match Made In Heaven”
Leave it to Architects to always have the slickest, sickest music videos. Seriously, I can’t remember one of their clips that left me indifferent at the end of play. “A Match Made In Heaven” might be their best yet too. Not just for the fact that the song that goes with it is 100% Architects A-grade awesome. Yeah, it’s not like it has anything too new on display; stock footage of bombs going off in deserts and soldiers blasting arms out of helicopter doors is pretty easy to find. But it’s shot so cleanly and interspersed with sweet, slow motion shots of the band doing their thing, something I can watch for hours. There’s something quite unnerving about Carter screaming “a match made in heaven” over an image of Blair and Bush shaking hands though; creeps me out a bit. Stick in a few explosions synched with bass drops and I’m a happy camper after watching this. Again.