The humans think that they own me, but I own them. How many hours do they spend in the house? An hour in the morning, and a few hours in the evening. I am here all day long. Yet they deem it appropriate to force their inferior music on me. Fear not, for I have identified which of those musics are worth listening to over the course of the year. I shall now bring you the preferences of a superior feline being. My preferences lie with the composer the humans call Beethoven, but he hasn’t made any new albums the past few years so I will have to deal with albums made by other artists.
5. The Agonist – Prisoners
The melodies in this human music are almost good enough to be considered acceptable by cat standards, and the wailing female human’s voice isn’t as bad as it can be. Is this supposed to be a mating call? Either way, there are worse musics that I have been subjected to, so this one gets my seal of non-disapproval.
Favorite song: ‘The Escape’
4. Leander – Szividomar
I believe humans call this metalcore. It is made by a Hungarian human, who also writes all the material. This human called Leander, i would let him pet me. He seems to be not terrible at creating musics.
Favorite song: ‘Csak Te’
3. Jang Keun Suk – Just Crazy
I know that this Korean human named PSY is all the rage among the inferior species, but there is a human who is better than him at the genre of music humans classify as “K-Pop”. This human male has a voice that is exemplary. That is, it is exemplary by human standards. It would not pass for a cat’s voice, but we’re not looking at the best cat albums of 2012, are we?
Favorite song: ‘Stay’
2. 嵐 (Arashi) – Popcorn
This Japanese pack of humans are amusing. From what I hear from my cousins in the country, these humans are quite popular and have been so for a while now. It is astounding that humans actually enjoy music that is not terrible. Maybe I should move to Japan. They seem to be producing good musics there.
Favorite song: ‘Meikyuu Love Song’
1. Kis-My-Ft2 – Kis-My-1st
Yet another pack of Japanese humans that are rising in popularity. These humans are basically supposed to be the younger version of Arashi, with a sound that is more appealing to younger humans. I don’t know about that, but it is more appealing to my ears with superior hearing capabilities as well. Out of all the musics I have been subjected to this year, this one was the least displeasing. The human race might yet have some merit to it. They have managed to come up with sounds that I don’t mind being subjected to as much.
Favorite song: ‘Girl is mine’
-Riddick Crystalfjord vom Trollberg