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I have no idea who’s who, so I’m going to assume it was Dumb Ears and Neck Tattoo.

It’s a good day in the long fight against crabcore. Okay, so admittedly crabcore didn’t turn out to be a relevant sustainable threat in the first place like we thought it would be by now, but the band that inadvertently helped the internet coin the term just imploded this week, losing two members.

First, bassist John Holgado left the band with a confusing and totally-almost-worth-it lengthy statement, which you can see at Lambgoat. Apparently John dropped out of high school at 16 to join the band full time, and it shows. A lot of people are finding his statement hilarious, and while I can see where these people are coming from and did find much of it highly amusing (“You are what you think. Also im not homosexual”), I’m working towards a career in the mental health profession and it’s clear that John is going through a lot mentally and socially and it’s not really something to joke about. So I’m not going to. My thoughts go out to this guy, and I hope he’s able to complete his education and discovers who he really is and who he wants to be.

Not long after, Lambgoat once again reports that frontman Caleb Shomo has also left the group. Apparently they have a replacement ready, which isn’t a surprise since Shomo was a lackluster vocalist and finding someone as good or better to join an already established popular band would be a cakewalk.

Normally I’d promise to follow up on news stories like this, but I probably won’t. Interest in band drama only spreads so thin, even if it’s a band people passionately hate. And let’s be honest, you don’t care who replaces these members. Just know that the band will likely be able to pick up some more members and no one will know the difference.

– JR

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