People seem to enjoy Torche quite a bit; while the idea of pop sludge gets me excited and curious, I can’t say I’ve ever really gotten into the dudes outside of a level of respect I hold for them. However, you don’t need to be a fan of the band to be able to appreciate how bizarre this piece of news is: A bat urinated in Torche guitarist Andrew Elstner’s eye, which resulted in a rabies scare.
“Ok so… A bat peed in my eye. Whether or not you think I’m telling the truth is irrelevant at this point. What I’m worried about now is rabies. A bat. It pissed into my eye. Gold help me.
“This story is true and a simple one: I housed the James Leg guys at the old house where I used to live in Wildwood. For those unaware, this house was built in 1824 and rests on 70+ acres, and my old roomie who still lives here leaves the back door open so his dogs came roam at will. The dogs are awesome, btw. When we first arrive, it’s almost 4am and I’m showing Mat Gaz the house, ‘Ok, check it out… Here’s the kitchen. And here’s like a family room type deal…’ I switch on the overhead light/ceiling fan combo and what I think at first is a shadow being cast from the spinning fan blades turns out to be a freaking bat. It circles the room a few times at light speed, and on one of the turns, dive bombs my head and squirts a little nervous pee into my eye. Holy shit. I’m laughing but run to the sink and attempt to flush my eye out. I’m pretty sure I’m fine but… Not the most common of occurrences.
“Rabies Control and CDC people are telling me I need shots, specifically for the reason I imagined: it could’ve been saliva AND I slept in the same house with it, could’ve bitten me in my sleep! What?! I wish I was making this shit up. My info and story were just now faxed to the CDC in Atlanta. Whaaaat!?!?”
The following day:
“So the rabies saga continues… Currently in the emergency room at St. Luke’s to start rabies vaccination. Such a long dumb story. Extremely slim odds that I’m at risk, but,… With rabies, you have a short window to get treated, and beyond that, it is incurable and 100% fatal. Having said all that, I feel like I’m getting treated for a unicorn bite. Bunch of nonsense.”
But fret not, everyone! Dude’s fine and rabies free. And wouldn’t you know it, this is brilliant press! Before this event happened, I didn’t know they had a new album coming out! This might be my opportunity to get into them properly. Harmonicraft is due out April 24th, and is available for pre-order in a bunch of kickass options here.