This was possibly the lowest number of goals this week that we’ve had in Bladder Basher, and it has been a low scoring week to reflect this. I don’t think anyone score more than three or four, and many scored none. Bad news bears guys!


Gameweek 9

Nicklas Bent? Naah.. 39 – 40 The Monolith FC
Dillinger 34 – 44 Human Abstract XI
WBF Flames FC 53 – 29 Hell Yeah
Langland Utd 21 – 55 Vanpersieandfriends
Kirellah 26 – 33 The Wankahoozanes
WE HATE LEEDS 47 – 33 Orsaeth United
Average 36 – 35 Triangle united

Nicklas Bent? Naah.. (Karl N.) vs. The Monolith FC (Chris G) 

A definite nailbiter in the first match this week. Evenly matched throughout, Karl got goals from Man City boys Sergio Aguero and David Silva and a clean sheet from right-back Danny Simpson, but The Monolith matched with a stolid Newcastle defense of keeper Krul and Steven Taylor, who suffered a broken nose. In the end it came down to the bonus points, and in the end it was Krul’s stunning show that stole the draw from Karl and meant victory for The Monolith, who go to a solid second place, with only points separating from the leader.

Dillinger (Ben L) vs. Human Abstract XI (Rahul M)

Ben’s goalless Dillinger were humbled by a brace from HA XI captain Robin Van Persie, and despite an assist from on form Gabriel Agbonlahor, and a couple of Newcastle clean sheets at the back, Rahul’s team continued their flying run.

WBF Flames FC (Tyler H) vs. Hell Yeah (Rafael R)

Tyler’s team returned to winning ways with a comfortable win over Hell Yeah thanks to high-scoring captain David Silva and Sergio Aguero’s goal once again. He also included both Taylors from what has proved to be a strong Newcastle back 5 this week, and although Ben fielded both Ryan Taylor and goalie Tim Krul, his lack of goals from an expensive and star-studded midfield proved his undoing.

Langland United (Craig T) vs. Vanpersieandfriends (Dan S)

Dan faced a second successive derby with bandmate Craig – which he blitzed thanks to his faith in captain and namesake Robin Van Persie, whose run of 25 goals in 26 league games this year continued with two in this matchup, which was compounded by David Silva’s own, along with assists from the Spaniard, two from Chris Brunt and one from big man at the back Chris Samba. Dan’s was one of the best scores of the week, and Craig was unable to keep the pace without any goals and that same assist from Samba. Boasting rights once again to Dan.

Kirellah (Erik H) vs. The Wankahoozanes (Tree Beard)

Erik kept faith with the fourth member of Newcastle’s defense Fabricio Coloccini for a clean sheet, but Tim Howard, despite making three saves, couldn’t match his score last week. Fellow American Clint Dempsey assisted on goal, but Tree Beard’s inclusion of David Silva undoubtedly won him the tie.

WE HATE LEEDS (Jon W) vs. Orsaeth United (Kevin Z)

Jon is on fine form now, with Van Persie and Coloccini paying dividends for the Leeds haters. The Taylors and Silva weren’t enough to stem the tide of orange and black, and Jon grabbed another deserved win.

 Average vs. Triangle United (Jaime G)

How the mighty have fallen! Absentee manager Jaime was most likely on holiday again, and allowed his team to dip under the average by one measly point – but that’s all it takes!

The Average team are now in a fairly solid third place, having leap-frogged Hell Yeah and Triangle United. Some sharp decisions need to be made to regain some pride; can it be done?

All of this leaves us with the table as follows:

+- # Team W D L + Pts
1 Human Abstract XI 7 0 2 439 21
2 The Monolith FC 7 0 2 428 21
3 Average 6 0 3 401 18
4 Hell Yeah 6 0 3 377 18
5 Triangle united 5 0 4 441 15
6 WBF Flames FC 5 0 4 431 15
7 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. 5 0 4 420 15
8 Vanpersieandfriends 5 0 4 415 15
9 Langland Utd 4 0 5 377 12
10 The Wankahoozanes 4 0 5 326 12
11 WE HATE LEEDS 3 0 6 321 9
12 Dillinger 2 0 7 317 6
13 Orsaeth United 2 0 7 312 6
14 Kirellah 2 0 7 264 6

The fixtures for the next gameweek are as follows:


The Monolith FC v WE HATE LEEDS
Orsaeth United v Kirellah
The Wankahoozanes v Langland Utd
Vanpersieandfriends v WBF Flames FC
Hell Yeah v Dillinger
Human Abstract XI v Average
Triangle united v Nicklas Bent? Naah..


1 FC Bayern Bru Scott Morris 60 480
2 Waxing Gibbons Justin Shead 29 473
3 JFC FC Graham Coulter 46 467
4 Gary Glitter’s U16s Chris Morris 46 450
5 Triangle united Jaime Gamble 35 441
6 Human Abstract XI Rahul Menon 44 439
7 WBF Flames FC Tyler Hendricks 53 431
8 The Monolith FC Chris Grenville 40 428
9 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. karl nessworthy 39 420
10 Vanpersieandfriends Dan Stokes 55 415
11 Youwangedmyship Steve Boden 48 414
12 Langland Utd Craig Taylor 21 377
13 Hell Yeah Rafael Rojas 29 377
14 The Wankahoozanes Tree Beard 33 326
15 WE HATE LEEDS Jon Weatherill 47 321
16 Dillinger Ben Ludlow 34 317
17 Orsaeth United Kevin Zecchel 33 312
18 Los Increibles Luis Tenorio 39 300
19 #Winning Will Windlay 12 290
20 Riff FC Jorge Valverth 16 189

FC Bayern Bru take the top spot once again, with most teams slipping. Oh dear!

If this sounds like your particular ball made out of a urinary gland, entries are open for gameweek 10, with new teams and changes to current players’ teams allowed up until 11:30am GMT on October 29th.

That’s all for Gameweek 9. You can still enter the classic league by going here, signing up and entering the following code in the league section: 425145-118189

See you next week folks!

– CG


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