As immortalised by quaint Kiwi comedy folk parody duo Flight Of The Conchords, the words “business time” will forever hold one meaning for me: the time when everything is just right; when conditions are perfect – for example Wednesday night when there’s nothing good on TV. Yeaaah.

It struck me last night that, whilst every single god-damn moment is good for metal, some are better than others. Power metal is good for shower time; cleansing your body and warming your vocals chords for a long day of being awesome. Black metal is good for grim, introspective times, like when your mum doesn’t cut the crusts off your sandwiches or forgets to iron your favourite t-shirt.

I’m talking about a more general feeling though. I love my significant other dearly, but she’s a very ‘lights on’ sort of person, whereas I am a foul creature of darkness, and in a flat where, of the three rooms, two are for pooping and cooking respectively (and exclusive of each other, I can assure you), I don’t get a lot of time to potter around in the darkness, college days infinity lamp a-glow – which is my favourite time to listen to metal. I think it’s to do with depriving my other senses in order to be able to focus on the music or some bullshit excuse like that. I think perhaps I just like the pretty twinkly lights, but the point is moot.

So we ask you: when is your business time?

– CG

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