So, I fucked up again and this is three days late – but we’re okay because it’s the international break; cause for both celebration and boos! Qualification for Euro 2012 is all but over, and England are through despite going down to 10 men in their last game, meaning that once again all of England who don’t normally watch football will be foaming at the mouth next summer (I was one of these last year for the World Cup but whatever).


Gameweek 7

Triangle united 55 – 60 The Monolith FC
Dillinger 56 – 29 Vanpersieandfriends
WBF Flames FC 36 – 43 The Wankahoozanes
Langland Utd 37 – 21 Orsaeth United
Kirellah 42 – 35 WE HATE LEEDS
Nicklas Bent? Naah.. 41 – 27 Human Abstract XI
Average 44 – 50 Hell Yeah

Triangle United (Jaime G) vs. The Monolith FC (Chris G) 

The mighty Monolith rolled up to Triangle United this week and claimed a second successive scalp for their efforts, despite a close run contest with the league’s current leaders. It was all about the midfield and forwards for The Monolith, none of whom scored below six points, which included goals from Scott Sinclair, Luis Suarez and an otherwise poor Aaron Ramsey. A clean sheet from young defender Phil Jones secured him a share of the bonus spoils, which helped to put to bed a fine showing from Triangle, whose largely absent manager kept a winning team which included only a couple of goals, but a massive showing from Jose Enrique and keeper Joe Hart. Sergio Aguero’s first-half injury may have contributed to the five point difference here, and Jaime will feel hard done by for his second defeat on the trot.

Dillinger (Ben L) vs. Vanpersieandfriends (Dan S)

Another home-town derby for IRL rivals Ben and Dan. Dillinger were on fine form, with Ben’s faith in the expensive Frank Lampard earning him a hat-trick worth 15 points and all three bonus points too. Elsewhere Neil Taylor and Joe Hart kept clean sheets and Rooney an assist, which all proved too much for Vanpersieandfriends, who claimed but a single clean sheet from Patrice Evra and two assists from David Silva and Chris Brunt respectively, and suffered the loss of the excellent Bacary Sagna to a broken leg in the 67th minute.

WBF Flames FC (Tyler H) vs. The Wankahoozanes (Tree Beard)

Some decent showings from Rooney, Hart, Silva and Suarez ensured a fairly narrow victory for Tree Beard over the once-mighty WBF Flames. Despite keeper Michel Vorm, captain Silva and Rooney, the six goals conceded by Anton Ferdinand led to a negative swing in defence, and with average showings from the rest of the team it wasn’t to be.

Langland United (Craig T) vs. Orsaeth United (Kevin Z)

Langland United’s ‘captain clean sheet’ keeper Shay Given led from the back, adding to an assist each from forwards Wayne Rooney and Emmanuel Adebayor, and midfielder Seb Larsson. A couple of zero scores kept the score low, but it was more than enough to down Orsaeth, whose goal from Danny Welbeck was the only score of significance.

Kirellah (Erik H) vs. WE HATE LEEDS (Jon W)

Kirellah’s vice captain – and once again a keeper – Tim Howard allowed Erik’s team to steamroller out of the gates and allowed fellow American Clint Dempsey’s goal and assist to take them a long way towards victory. This was enough to down an admirable showing from Jon, with rare-scoring Jonas Gutierrez netting, Adebayor assisting, and keeper Joe Hart keeping a clean sheet.

Nicklas Bent? Naah.. (Karl N.) vs. Human Abstract XI (Rahul M)

Similarly to WBF Flames, Human Abstract XI suffered a disappointing week, with most of the team only lodging the basic 2 points for turning up. Joe Hart kept his clean sheet at the back, but there wasn’t much more of note. Conversely, Karl’s boys fared much better, keeping a clean sheet between the posts and at Centre-Back with Brede Hangeland, and Martin Petrov, David Silva and Wayne Rooney managed assists to gain a comfotable lead.

 Average vs. Hell Yeah (Rafael R)

One of the few to beat the average team so far, Rafael’s boys capped the mean score by six points with massive scores from defender Jose Enrique and midfielder Samir Nasri. Danny Welbeck and Luis Suarez added goals to the scoresheet, making for an impressive overall score.

With successive defeats for the league leaders, things are continuing to get interesting. Myself and Kevin are joint second, with fewer than ten points between us and Jaime.

All of this leaves us with the table as follows:

+- # Team W D L + Pts
1 Triangle united 5 0 2 363 15
2 The Monolith FC 5 0 2 354 15
2 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. 5 0 2 354 15
4 Human Abstract XI 5 0 2 332 15
5 Average 5 0 2 331 15
6 Hell Yeah 5 0 2 313 15
7 WBF Flames FC 4 0 3 357 12
8 Langland Utd 4 0 3 303 12
9 Vanpersieandfriends 3 0 4 291 9
10 The Wankahoozanes 2 0 5 264 6
11 Dillinger 2 0 5 259 6
12 Kirellah 2 0 5 218 6
13 Orsaeth United 1 0 6 245 3
14 WE HATE LEEDS 1 0 6 211 3

The fixtures for the next gameweek are as follows:


The Monolith FC v Kirellah
WE HATE LEEDS v Langland Utd
Orsaeth United v WBF Flames FC
The Wankahoozanes v Dillinger
Vanpersieandfriends v Average
Hell Yeah v Nicklas Bent? Naah..
Human Abstract XI v Triangle united


No new entries, lots of movement.

# Team Manager GW TOT
1 Waxing Gibbons Justin S 37 401
2 FC Bayern Bru Scott M 31 396
3 JFC FC Graham C 55 374
4 Gary Glitter’s U16s Chris M 70 367
5 Triangle united Jaime G 55 363
6 WBF Flames FC Tyler H 36 357
7 The Monolith FC Chris G 60 354
8 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. Karl N 41 354
9 Youwangedmyship Steve B 41 344
10 Human Abstract XI Rahul M 27 332
11 Hell Yeah Rafael R 54 313
12 Langland Utd Craig T 37 303
13 Vanpersieandfriends Dan S 29 291
14 The Wankahoozanes Tree Beard 43 264
15 Dillinger Ben L 56 259
16 #Winning Will W 40 253
17 Orsaeth United Kevin Z 21 245
18 Los Increibles Luis T 21 213
19 WE HATE LEEDS Jon Wl 35 211
20 Riff FC Jorge V 52 154

Once again, if this sounds like your particular ball made out of a urinary gland, entries are open for gameweek 8, with new teams and changes to current players’ teams allowed up until 11:30am GMT on October 15th.

That’s all for Gameweek 7. So yes, if this sounds like fun to you, you can still enter the classic league by going here, signing up and entering the following code in the league section: 425145-118189

See you next week folks!

– CG

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