This might be the last time I mention Wayne Rooney for a little while, and certainly there will be no scores gained from the league’s top goalscorer so far, as he was out this week with a hamstring injury and may not return for a while. Shock horror, everyone rename your captain!


Gameweek 6

The Monolith FC 60 – 28 Langland Utd
Kirellah 29 – 55 WBF Flames FC
WE HATE LEEDS 51 – 20 Dillinger
Orsaeth United 39 – 45 Average
The Wankahoozanes 46 – 26 Nicklas Bent? Naah..
Vanpersieandfriends 67 – 63 Triangle united
Hell Yeah 38 – 28 Human Abstract XI

The Monolith FC (Chris G) vs. Langland United (Craig T)

Wracked by injuries and a lack of internet connection this week, Langland United suffered heavy losses away to The Monolith FC. They were without all three forwards and subs Rafael Da Sivla and Jack Wilshere through injury, whilst third sub Aaron Hughes didn’t get on the pitch. Winger Gareth Bale was the only star with a goal, and this disasterous loss afforded The Monolith,with a goal from Luis Suarez and no fewer than six assists from five players (defenders Steven Taylor, Jose Enrique and Jose Bosingwa, and midfielders David Silva and two from Aaron Ramsey). Silva took the captain’s armband this week to double his points, and the team more than doubled Craig’s boys’.

Kirellah (Erik H) vs. WBF Flames FC (Tyler H)

Another mauling came in this match. Taylor, Bosingwa and Silva also featured for the rampant WBF Flames, with a goal from Luis Nani and an assist from Sergio Aguero. Kirellah were unfortunate to bag only two assists from Ashley Cole and, again, Bosingwa, (who is paying dividends for being one of the top defensive picks), with no other scores of note.

WE HATE LEEDS (Jon W) vs. Dillinger (Ben L)

Jon’s boys seem to have finally hit their stride this week with their first league win over Dillinger. Ben’s clean sheet from keeper Joe Hart and assists from Charlie Adam and Leon Best could not atone for two negative scores and a poor showing from all other players. This is not to downplay the Leeds haters, who lodged their best score ever with two goals from captain Robin Van Persie, one from Gareth Bale, and assists from Bosingwa and Emmanuel Adebayor. Joe Hart did double duty, giving Jon a clean sheet too.

Orsaeth United (Kevin Z) vs. Average

Although Orsaeth’s form picked up from last week, the average claimed yet another victim. Assists from Bosingwa, Taylor and Matthew Etherington marked the most points, and meanwhile Asmir Begovic dropped another clean sheet – but against Manchester United, so fair enough.

The Wankahoozanes (Tree Beard) vs. Nicklas Bent? Naah.. (Karl N.)

Our two most letter-friendly teams clashed this week, with Tree Beard also claiming his first win! Despite a relatively quiet midfield (David Silva aside), a well-earned goal came from tricksy Luis Suarez, with a clean sheet from Hart and that assist from Steven Taylor. Aguero and Silva’s assists and a clean sheet from Brede Hangeland were nowhere near enough to silence The Wankahoozanes, and they managed to slow the ascent of one of the league’s top scoring teams.

Vanpersieandfriends (Dan S) vs. Triangle United (Jaime G)

The first of two massive upsets, home side Vanpersieandfriends inched the win away from Triangle – causing Jaime’s first loss – with the scores leapfrogging over the course of the weekend. Dan’s faith in man of the match winner, captain and namesake Robin Van Persie paid off big time, and star sub Gareth Bale came off the bench too to score. Added to clean sheets from Ben Foster and Bacary Sagna made for a mighty score, which Jaime will feel hard done by to have fallen short of by a mere four points. His radically different side included captain Luis Suarez, Liverpool teammate Jose Enrique, that Bosingwa chap (boy he gets around!) and Man City boys Silva, Hart and Aguero.

Hell Yeah (Rafael R) vs. Human Abstract XI (Rahul M) vs. 

A much lower scoring game, this final fixture was no less exciting, as Rafael claimed the league leader’s scalp, which was Rahul’s first loss and blew the table wide open. Human Abstract’s failure was mostly down to a raft of tame, previously high scoring stars, and the absence of Mr. Roo. Hell Yeah pounced on this capitulation with goals from Suarez and Nani, swinging the game ten points in their favour.

With no-one now unbeaten, thing will get a lot more interesting from now on, with the middle of the table hungrily eyeing the top spot. All of this leaves us with the table as follows:

+- # Team W D L + Pts
1 Triangle united 5 0 1 308 15
2 Human Abstract XI 5 0 1 305 15
3 Average 5 0 1 287 15
4 WBF Flames FC 4 0 2 321 12
5 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. 4 0 2 313 12
6 The Monolith FC 4 0 2 294 12
7 Hell Yeah 4 0 2 263 12
8 Langland Utd 3 0 3 266 9
9 Vanpersieandfriends 3 0 3 262 9
10 Orsaeth United 1 0 5 224 3
11 The Wankahoozanes 1 0 5 221 3
12 Dillinger 1 0 5 203 3
13 WE HATE LEEDS 1 0 5 176 3
13 Kirellah 1 0 5 176 3

Lots of movement, with Jaime nevertheless edging the top spot from Rahul.

The fixtures for the next gameweek are as follows:

Triangle united v The Monolith FC
Dillinger v Vanpersieandfriends
WBF Flames FC v The Wankahoozanes
Langland Utd v Orsaeth United
Kirellah v WE HATE LEEDS
Nicklas Bent? Naah.. v Human Abstract XI
Average v Hell Yeah


One new entries this week, with Scott M’s FC Bayern Bru jumping straight in at the top spot. Justin is currently his biggest challenger, and as we know well, things can go horribly wrong for anybody.

# Team Manager GW TOT
1 FC Bayern Bru Scott Morris 50 365
2 Waxing Gibbons Justin Shead 60 364
3 WBF Flames FC Tyler Hendricks 55 321
4 JFC FC Graham Coulter 52 319
5 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. karl nessworthy 30 313
6 Triangle united Jaime Gamble 63 308
7 Human Abstract XI Rahul Menon 28 305
8 Youwangedmyship Steve Boden 43 303
9 Gary Glitter’s U16s Chris Morris 57 297
10 The Monolith FC Chris Grenville 60 294
11 Langland Utd Craig Taylor 28 266
12 Hell Yeah Rafael Rojas 46 263
13 Vanpersieandfriends Dan Stokes 67 262
14 Orsaeth United Kevin Zecchel 39 224
15 The Wankahoozanes Tree Beard 46 221
16 #Winning Will Windlay 40 213
17 Dillinger Ben Ludlow 28 203
18 Los Increibles Luis Tenorio 47 192
19 WE HATE LEEDS Jon Weatherill 51 176
20 Riff FC Jorge Valverth 45 102

Once again, if this sounds like your particular ball made out of a urinary gland, entries are still open for gameweek 7, with new teams and changes to current players’ teams allowed up until 11:30am GMT on October 1st.

That’s all for Gameweek 6. So yes, if this sounds like fun to you, you can still enter the classic league by going here, signing up and entering the following code in the league section: 425145-118189

See you next week folks!

– CG

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