This might actually be the worst thing. It’s seriously extremely awkward and simply doesn’t work. Maybe that whole spoken word thing would work if you had a band that could create a decent atmosphere, but this is Metallica in the year 2011—they wouldn’t know atmosphere or subtlety if it uploaded their discography to The Pirate Bay.
I know I’m needlessly mean and I’ve really nothing else to say. You can continue on about your day now.