Rooney once again paid dividends this week – that new hair implant must be doing something for his form! Manchester in general were once again to be feared, with both United and City thrashing their opponents once again. Newcastle kept up their unbeaten run (great, but…how?!) and Stoke upset Liverpool, which was hilarious. Not that we care about the actual results – to the leagues that count!


The Monolith FC 67 – 51 WBF Flames FC
Langland Utd 59 – 29 Dillinger
Kirellah 14 – 57 Average
WE HATE LEEDS 23 – 67 Nicklas Bent? Naah..
Orsaeth United 37 – 56 Triangle united
The Wankahoozanes 54 – 66 Human Abstract XI
Vanpersieandfriends 47 – 42 Hell Yeah

The Monolith FC (Chris G) vs. WBF Flames FC (Tyler H)

In my most fruitful gameweek so far captain Wayne Rooney netted a hat-trick and a man of the match performance. Newcastle United’s backline of Tim Krul and Steven Taylor netted me a tasty 11 points, and a couple of assists from David Silva to a sixteen point lead over Tyler’s cohorts, of whom Aguero’s hat-trick and Silva’s assists were the only scores of note (brilliant as they were).

Langland United (Craig T) vs. Dillinger (Ben L)

As with a number of managers in this league, Craig and Ben know each other in real life and I believe are the first of us to meet. Unfortunately, as with Manchester United and Arsenal’s meeting two gameweeks ago, there wasn’t much in it. Rooney once again played a huge part, with Raul Meireles in midfield and Micah Richards in defence getting good scores in. Ben’s faith in Leon Best was misplaced, and compounded by prolific Premier League goalscorer Edin Dzeko being rested for the week’s Champions’ League fixture. Defender Leighton Baines scored a penalty and Joe Hart kept a clean sheet, but that was it as far as scores went.

Kirellah (Erik H) vs. Average

The Average team kept up its high quality run thanks probably to everyone and their mother having high-scoring Rooney as captain. A raft of risky point-reducing transfers failed to pay off for Erik as only Fabricio Coliccini and Tim Cahill scored anything worthwhile.

WE HATE LEEDS (Jon W) vs. Nicklas Bent? Naah.. (Karl N.)

A re-branding of Karl’s StrictlycomeGyancing after the striker’s departure from Sunderland seems to have paid dividends with Ryan Shawcross and Danny Simpson scoring clean sheets, David Silva keeping his form and of course Rooney being captain. More bad luck for John as Dzeko was benched and Robin Van Persie and Darren Bent failed to score. Coliccini and Hart at the back made the only scores of note.

Orsaeth United (Kevin Z) vs. Triangle United (Jaime G)

Orsaeth cannily picked on-form ‘dream team’ goalie Asmir Begovic to sit at the back, but capitulations from Wolves defenders Ward and Johnson and a thrashing of Bolton meant his back four were of little help. Further loss of Dzeko up front crushed a promising side, and despite scoring well in spite of this, Jaime’s Triangle United kept up their good form with John Terry, David Silva and Sergio Aguero all scoring over 10 points apiece, with Joe Hart keeping a clean sheet at the back for the win.

The Wankahoozanes (Tree Beard) vs. Human Abstract XI (Rahul M)

Hot picks Rooney, Silva and Hart all picked up a good score (despite a frustrated Luis Suarez being captain) for the mysterious Tree Beard, with Newcastle boys Coliccini and Steven Taylor bringing in respectable clean sheets too. Rahul’s top-of-the-table side, however, managed to gain the edge with a few similar players, but all-important goals from John Terry and a strong midfield showing clinched the victory.

Vanpersieandfriends (Dan S) vs. Hell Yeah (Rafael R)

Ben Foster showed his class finally with a clean sheet and bonus points, whilst his faith in Bacary Sagna also paid off, along with the experience France international Patrice Evra. Sagna and Adel Taarabt gained bonus points too, and Silva claimed a few assists for this week’s closest match, and despite not scoring it was enough for Dan to get his second win of the season against Rafael, who was unlucky not to score more with assist-demons Nani and Nasri in the midfield and despite a goal from Gabriel Agbonhalor. Krul and the other Taylor (Ryan) kept clean sheets, but Hell Yeah fell short by five points.

This leaves us with the table as follows:

+- # Team W D L + Pts
1 Human Abstract XI 4 0 0 234 12
2 Triangle united 4 0 0 215 12
3 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. 3 0 1 247 9
4 The Monolith FC 3 0 1 208 9
5 Langland Utd 3 0 1 205 9
6 Average 3 0 1 202 9
7 Hell Yeah 3 0 1 198 9
8 WBF Flames FC 2 0 2 209 6
9 Vanpersieandfriends 2 0 2 170 6
10 Dillinger 1 0 3 168 3
11 Orsaeth United 0 0 4 167 0
12 The Wankahoozanes 0 0 4 139 0
13 Kirellah 0 0 4 113 0
14 WE HATE LEEDS 0 0 4 94 0

The fixtures for the next gameweek are as follows:

Human Abstract XI v The Monolith FC
Dillinger v Orsaeth United
Langland Utd v Kirellah
Triangle united v Hell Yeah
Nicklas Bent? Naah.. v Vanpersieandfriends
Average v The Wankahoozanes


Just the one new entry with Jorge V’s Riff FC coming in at the bottom with a way to go to catch up. I was pleased to make my way back up the table in both leagues this week (however long that will last…) with a few others, including long time friend Chris M, who remains on the same score as me for the second week in a row. Git.

# Team Manager GW TOT
1 Waxing Gibbons Justin S 77 266
2 Nicklas Bent? Naah.. karl N 67 247
3 Human Abstract XI Rahul M 66 234
4 Triangle united Jaime G 56 215
5 Youwangedmyship Steve B 79 212
6 WBF Flames FC Tyler H 51 209
7 The Monolith FC Chris G 67 208
7 Gary Glitter’s U16s Chris M 67 208
9 JFC FC Graham C 50 206
10 Langland Utd Craig T 59 205
11 Hell Yeah Rafael R 42 198
12 Vanpersieandfriends Dan S 47 170
13 Dillinger Ben L 29 168
14 Orsaeth United Kevin Z 37 167
15 #Winning Will W 31 161
16 The Wankahoozanes Tree B 54 139
17 Los Increibles Luis T 33 125
18 WE HATE LEEDS Jon W 31 94
19 Riff FC Jorge V 34 34

That’s all for Gameweek 4. If this sounds like fun to you, you can still enter the classic league by going here, signing up and entering the following code in the league section: 425145-118189

The Premier League is back in swing tomorrow, with changes to your team allowed up until 11:30am GMT on September 17th. Sunday looks to be an exciting day, although with four of the big six teams facing off, deadlocks might make points scarce on their part.

See you next week folks!

– CG

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