Well, here we are at the end of gameweek 2, with our first report on our fantasy football goings on. The website goofed up last week, and so we didn’t get results until yesterday, which means there’s a fair bit of information to get through. I’ll crack on then!


Gameweek 1

Individual player scores and teams for gameweek one are already gone, so this is a quick summary of the head-to-head results. 3 points for winners, 1 for a draw. Due to an odd number of entrants, an average team is automatically paired with someone. Unlucky for Craig of Langland United, he was pipped to the post. I enjoyed a close win over my best friend, and Tyler took the crown for most points scored.

Gameweek 1 Dillinger 30 – 63 WBF Flames FC
Gameweek 1 Vanpersieandfriends 52 – 55 The Monolith FC
Gameweek 1 Hell Yeah 32 – 26 The Wankahoozanes
Gameweek 1 Human Abstract XI 40 – 23 Orsaeth United
Gameweek 1 Triangle united 49 – 28 WE HATE LEEDS
Gameweek 1 StrictlyComeGyancing 62 – 36 Kirellah
Gameweek 1 Average 47 – 42 Langland Utd

Read on for gameweek 2…

Gameweek 2

Gameweek 2 The Monolith FC 36 – 30 Dillinger
Gameweek 2 WBF Flames FC 53 – 41 Average
Gameweek 2 Langland Utd 54 – 43 StrictlyComeGyancing
Gameweek 2 Kirellah 21 – 72 Triangle united
Gameweek 2 WE HATE LEEDS 21 – 45 Human Abstract XI
Gameweek 2 Orsaeth United 39 – 50 Hell Yeah
Gameweek 2 The Wankahoozanes 37 – 39 Vanpersieandfriends

The Monolith FC (Chris G) vs. Dillinger (Ben L)

Despite some fine performances from captain Charlie Adam, Frank Lampard and a clean sheet from defender Roger Johnson for Dillinger, Goals from Matt Jarvis and Luis Suarez managed to cover for some woeful defensive play from The Monolith FC to hand them victory.

WBF Flames FC (Tyler H) vs. Average

A fine display for David De Gea at the back and a spot on goal and assist from David Silva, along with fine performances from Kevin Davies and Jose Boswinga allowed WBF Flames to comfortably rise above the average team to claim a win this week.

Langland United (Craig T) vs. StrictlyComeGyancing (Karl N)

Langland’s goals from Matt Jarvis, Kenwyne Jones and Wayne Rooney overrode a great game from Al Al-Habsi to edge out StrictlyComeGyancing for the win.

Kirellah (Erik H) vs. Triangle United (Jaime G)

A massive four goals, along with numerous assists and clean sheets, meant Triangle United dominated Kirellah’s fairly average performance. Jaime was leagues ahead of everyone else by eighteen points this week, so there’s no shame in a loss for Erik.

WE HATE LEEDS (Jon W) vs. Human Abstract XI (Rahul M)

Both forwards Wayne Rooney and Kevin Davies scored for Human Abstract XI, along with good showings from Charlie Adam and Danny Simpson, to down Jon’s injury-racked team, despite a goal from Kenwyne Jones.

Orsaeth United (Kevin Z) vs. Hell Yeah (Rafael R)

A shrewdly picked, out of position defender Ryan Taylor scored for Hell Yeah, alongside Luis Suarez and Gabriel Agbonlahor for some massive point swings, leaving football new boy Orsaeth’s impressive back line to pick up the slack. Unfortunately it was not to be, but a good game all round.

The Wankahoozanes (Tree Beard) vs. Vanpersieandfriends (Dan S)

In the closest game of the week, a celebrity appearance from Wankahoozanes manager Tree Beard inspired a great game from hot pick Luis Suarez and the stalwart Steven Taylor for a second successive man of the match performance, but it was not enough and fine shows from individuals across the pitch, despite misfiring captain Robin Van Persie, allowed Dan to get two points over his rival for the win.

This leaves us with the table as follows:

+- # Team W D L + Pts
1 Triangle united 2 0 0 121 6
2 WBF Flames FC 2 0 0 116 6
3 The Monolith FC 2 0 0 91 6
4 Human Abstract XI 2 0 0 85 6
5 Hell Yeah 2 0 0 82 6
6 StrictlyComeGyancing 1 0 1 105 3
7 Langland Utd 1 0 1 96 3
8 Vanpersieandfriends 1 0 1 91 3
9 Average 1 0 1 88 3
10 The Wankahoozanes 0 0 2 63 0
11 Orsaeth United 0 0 2 62 0
12 Dillinger 0 0 2 60 0
13 Kirellah 0 0 2 57 0
14 WE HATE LEEDS 0 0 2 49 0

The fixtures for this week are as follows:

Dillinger v Kirellah
WBF Flames FC v Langland Utd
Hell Yeah v The Monolith FC
Human Abstract XI v Vanpersieandfriends
Triangle united v The Wankahoozanes
StrictlyComeGyancing v Orsaeth United


Not everyone joined in the H2H fun, so our classic, points accumulated league is a little bigger. Here are the standings and movements after week 2.

# Team Manager GW
1 Triangle united Jaime G 72 121
2 WBF Flames FC Tyler H 53 116
3 StrictlyComeGyancing Karl N 43 105
4 JFC FC Graham C 55 99
5 Langland Utd Craig T 54 96
6 The Monolith FC Chris G 36 91
6 Vanpersieandfriends Dan S 39 91
8 Human Abstract XI Rahul M 45 85
9 Hell Yeah Rafael R 50 82
10 #Winning Will W 32 77
11 Youwangedmyship Steve B 36 73
12 The Wankahoozanes Tree Beard 37 63
13 Orsaeth United Kevin Z 39 62
14 Dillinger Ben L 30 60
15 Los Increibles Luis T 21 56
16 WE HATE LEEDS Jon W 21 49

So that’s it for Gameweek 2. If this sounds like fun to you, you can still enter the classic league by going here, signing up and entering the following code in the league section: 425145-118189

Gameweek 3 begins tomorrow, with changes allowed up until 11:30am GMT. I’ve already used my unlimited transfer wildcard, but I have high hopes for the new week.

I’ll be playing the new Deus Ex up until Newcastle’s game against Fulham on Sunday, at which point I’ll be cursing Mike Ashley’s transfer policy and damning Alan Pardew to hell.

– CG

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