Oh hey, look, the UK has joined in on ye olde funne past-time of charving stuff that doesn’t belong to them from awesome, hardworking metal bands! We may be late to the party, but at least we turn up eventually with a four pack of tinnies (and drink all the expensive liquor, obviously) and a cheeky, buck-toothed grin, eh?


Yeah, so based on the recent spate of robberies I figured we were about due to hear about some wankers getting their metal-related rob on. This time the victims were the awesome Lazarus A.D., who had about $1500 and, possibly worse, a bunch of personal effects stolen from their van outside a venue in Southampton. Going into specifics, the band said:

“We just want to personally say thank you to the fuck douchebags who smashed our van’s window and stole $1500 and all our clothes and other personal items. All I can say is thank god we had the gear on stage or the fuckers would have stolen that as well.

They got every cent of band money, Social Security cards and our birth certificates. Not to mention they took all of our clothes and hygiene items. Thank god we had our passports in our pockets.”

Obviously this blows several fat ones, and my heart goes out to the band. Obviously in the grand scale of current world events this isn’t the worst thing ever, but I can totally sympathise with the guys – I mean who the fuck steals shower gel and deodorant? – and if you feel a compulsion to donate to them you can via this place here. Better yet, buy a copy of their new album Black Rivers Flow, which they’re touring in support of.

It goes without saying that if anyone knows anything, PLEASE get in touch with the police and send those fucktards down. Seriously, not cool.

– CG


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