You know how KISS have branded and tried to sell everything ever? Well it looks like Mastodon are vying for their crown.

Now, obviously a band’s got to sell merch to make money. T-shirts are the main go-to, obviously, but hoodies, posters, stickers/buttons and the like are all generally normal too.

Nowhere else have I seen the variety of items available than I have on the Mastodon webstore. The latest offering really take the biscuit though: it’s a fucking comb.

Now, admittedly it’s pretty fucking cool; it’s in the shape of a switchblade (because stabbing people is AWESOME!), but considering Brent Hinds looks like he’s never even seen one, its appearance in the store is somewhat confusing.

So what other gems are the bearded mighties selling?

Crack the Skye-branded ear buds

Remission logo-embossed sketchbook

Skateboard deck with Rasputin artwork

Crack the Skye army backback

Eagle bottle coozie

Crack the Skye jigsaw puzzle

Yeti vs. Saber board shorts

Now, it ain’t too extensive yet, but there’s definite room for pointless expansion. Try not to take it too far, hey guys?

THAT SAID: a tweet sent last night confirms that the band are back writing new material! Mitch probably won’t be too excited about this, but I know Jimmy and I certainly are!

Fuck yeah.

– CG

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