The feathery bastard's got a point!

So two bits of Tool-related frippery waltzed into my peripherals today. Funnily enough, they explored the two ends of the Tool spectrum: on the one hand, how awesome Tool are, and on the other how mind-numbingly retarded Tool fans can be.

On the first count we have Axl Rosenburg of Metalsucks‘ post about a hidden track from 10,000 Days that, let’s face it, some probably incredibly socially inept fanboy discovered. Using some amazing mathematical skills, this person realised that the tracks ‘Wings for Marie‘ (6:11) and ‘Viginti Tres‘ (5:02) fit perfectly into the title track ‘10,000 Days‘ (11:13) and like some garish Transformers/Power Rangers cartoon hybrid from the 90’s, form up to make one super-powered megazord uber-track.


Although I’m not sure this would convince an unbeliever of Tool’s genius, I still think it’s pretty cool.

So what of the other side of the coin? The dark underbelly of Tool’s prodigious shining light? The gremlin that lurks under the proverbial bridge?

The Tool fan?

Matt at All Metal Resource posted an article on Monday entitled “Tool Fans: A Lesson in Annoying” that just about hits the nail on the head as far as I’m concerned. It’s undeniable; Tool fanboys are the ultimate musical troll.

Some choice quotes from the article:

Yes, many Tool fans believe that the band is insanely smart and are running around with IQs above 200 and that their music is some sort of embodiment of this high level intelligence.

This idea that Maynard is some sort of prophet is a theme that is pretty constant amongst the irritating Tool fan base.

You can read the rest here by following the link up top; it’s a good way to spend the next five minutes. Obviously it doesn’t apply to every Tool fan (I consider myself one, and I have no desire to rim out Maynard James Keenan’s cornhole), but you can’t deny the truth to it.

It almost makes me lament that the band are writing a new album this year…almost.

– CG

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