PARTS. PARTS EVERYWHERE. I figured I’ll probably end up making more parts to this as I have a seemingly huge list of bands that I dislike, but have one or two good songs. Thanks to Alkahest for the killer idea and DeusExMachina for further inspiring me, but I’ll spare the super long intro of how this shit originated and get straight to the chase.

Warning, though: some of the bands you find in this article may cause extreme what the fuckery.

Periphery – Racecar; Jenova Theme (Cover)

Easily the most overrated band in the djent pseudogenre. Now before any buttfrustrated fanboys backlash at me hear me out: I don’t think they’re bad by any stretch, but you have to admit they’re overrated, at least to a small degree. That said, I like the musicianship Periphery has going, but that man upfront isn’t very good in my eyes. I appreciate that he doesn’t resort to blatant autotune and other gimmicks, but his singing is poor and his screams are really stale. But in this song the combination of his voice and the musicianship is really enjoyable. The strangest thing is that I don’t even like the instrumental version of this! It’s the vocals and instruments coming together that make a really wicked song:


Okay, I know Periphery had nothing to do with this cover, but I didn’t want to make a 2nd entry for their guitarist so I’m just gonna classify them as one. Anyway, Bulb to me isn’t very special (and I think Eggeh is far better, but that’s just me being a fanboy), but oh man did he cover a really killer song from one of my favorite games, Final Fantasy 7 (inb4 weeaboo). Everything about this is fucking awesome:


Nightrage – Death-Like Silence

Everything Nightrage has done has bored the living hell out of me. It’s never something I can’t put up with, but when I play their tunes I just want to turn it off and listen to something more memorable. This plague affects a lot of the more unknown melo-death/melodic metalcore bands. However, the last minute is catchy. It’s a shame everything else they’ve done just falls off the radar.

Oh, and this song suffers from Let’s Not Utilize The Catchiest Thing In The Song More Than Once disease. I swear some bands are just out to troll me.


Mastodon – Quintessence; Iron Tusk

Yep. I don’t like Mastodon. Really, really not exciting and I thought Crack the Skye was a snoozefest until this badass track popped up. The underlying noodling and Troy shouting, “Letting go, letting go, letting go, letting go, letting gooooooo!” hits the sweet spot pretty hard. And then after this track I fall asleep for the remainder:


Okay, I like another song too. I love the intro and the riff throughout the song is like being stampeded by mastodons. Not to mention Troy’s sludgy vocals stick like glue. Temporary brofist is in order.

Nice video quality, Relapse:


Martyr – Silent Science

I truly don’t know what to think of this band. I honestly think they’re good; they just don’t fit my palette. Hell, I wouldn’t have ever finished their Feeding the Abscess album if I didn’t randomly click on this song beforehand. This has to be one of the coolest riffs ever and I wish they had more songs like this. Pretty great tech death:


Converge – Eagles Become Vultures

Other than this song, I really don’t like Converge all that much. I’ve played like 3 of their albums over and over, especially the new one because I was an active poster on the BTBAM forums (don’t go there – pleas) and they hyped the fuck out of it. Needless to say, I wasn’t very impressed and went back to playing “Eagles Become Vultures” over and over. This is one badass track. The riff is like an auditory chainsaw massacre (in Texas) and the vocals make me never EVER want to fuck with him. But that applies to all their songs because he’s a damn good at what he does. I just dislike errythang else they’ve done.


Last but not least the band that I should probably commit metal suicide for not liking:

Cynic – Integral Birth

Every single fucking time I fucking listen to fucking Traced In Air I fucking fall out of my fucking chair in a fucking bored stupor. Fuck. Focus isn’t much different, either. My pitiful, slightly-less-horrible-than-my-reviewing-nowadays review of Traced In Air is on Metal Archives if you’d like to read that abomination, but ultimately, I just can’t get into them. I respect what they’ve done and they’re innovators not imitators, but they don’t click. They bore me. I guess I’m not big on jazz. However, this song is pretty cool. I love the intro and the solo is pretty sweet. I can see where Paul Waggoner got his influence:


I have committed a big metal sin. Deal with it.


Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.