Inspired by GroverXIII of TNOTB’s series of posts regarding nu-metal, Heavy Blog Is Heavy will be counting down the top five reasons why the genre of deathcore is totally full of shit. If you want to throw in your two cents and call me out on missing out a gem that this genre has to offer, mouth off in the comment section. Be sure to check out my Five Reasons Why Deathcore Isn’t Total Shit for some better music. Enjoy!

So far…
#5. Oceano – Depths
#4. Emmure – Felony
#3. We Butter The Bread With Butter – Das Monster Aus Dem Schrank

This is the first and last time this band will ever be mentioned on this site. Ever.

Sometimes you’d be surprised at what microgenres actually exist. Case in point: cyber deathcore. Let’s take it back a few years and take a look at what it took to get semi-famous. Here’s all you needed: A pirated copy of FL Studio, a myspace page, and a legion of dumbass scene kids with a misconception of what grindcore is exactly, and you have success on your hands.

That was the case with Wecamewithbrokenteeth. All the instrumentation is programmed synth, including guitars. You think you’ve heard the shittiest of the shitty? Just wait till you hear some BREEEEEEs thrown over top of the lowest audible notes in FL Slayer with phasers set to CHUG. Throw some lame synth lines and movie samples here and there, while you’re at it. It’s worse than you could imagine.

There should be no excuse for music this terrible. Everything about this album is rage inducing, from the lack of any artistic direction, to the mind-numbingly abysmal breakdowns, to the piss-poor tone and production quality. It is so terrible, it’s impossible for me to even find a place to specifically start tearing this apart. I suppose we could take a look at the track list. Songs include “Eat Babies N’ Shit,” “Kick Yo Face Off,” “High Explosive Grenade In Your Rectum,” “Bitch Please, I’m A Ninja,” and my all time favorite, “Eww Nigga, You Smell Like French Fries.” Fucking classy.

From what I gathered from my research (lol), this band started out as a joke until they gathered a following of br00tal scene kids on MySpace. After a while, the band got sick of all the dipshits and disbanded in 2008. They came back later, only to disband once again earlier this year. Last I heard, one of the band members was looking to start an indie pop project, which is certainly a step up from this aural abortion.

What makes shit worse is that the legion of fans that the group came to detest actually love this shit and call it grindcore/cybergrind. This is not grind by any means, and the “band” knows that. This is terribly produced and programmed deathcore that not only lacks in originality, but any musical quality making this worth the listen outside of morbid curiosity or making dumbass countdowns for your website. This is shitty music for shitty people.

And yes, I know I’m more than likely being trolled here, but I don’t care. This is why we can’t have nice things. WCWBT is one of the reasons why deathcore is so full of shit.

Here’s something, I don’t even know.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k-flJ6yquJs]

– JR

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