Inspired by GroverXIII of TNOTB’s series of posts regarding nu-metal, Heavy Blog Is Heavy will be counting down the top five reasons why the genre of deathcore is totally full of shit. If you want to throw in your two cents and call me out on missing out a gem that this genre has to offer, mouth off in the comment section. Be sure to check out my Five Reasons Why Deathcore Isn’t Total Shit for some better music. Enjoy!
So far…

#5. Oceano – Depths

Emmure. Where to fucking start?

Well, Emmure are a bunch of bros who grew up listening Limp Bizkit. They were a bit too late to the rapcore game, so they jumped into the deathcore crowd and based their sound around breakdowns. Actually, that’s all there is. Breakdowns fucking everywhere. Have you ever seen an Emmure guitar tab? It looks like binary code for idiots. This music was designed so there could be no possible way to fuck it up when playing it drunk.

Lyrical content is as vapid as one would expect. How anyone could ever say “Ask ya girl what my dick tastes like” unironically is beyond me, but Emmure manages to bring out many facepalm worthy lines such as that in their ever classy “R2DEEPTHROAT,” which Gein tells me is apparently a diss track (lol) to Acacia Strain. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard dumber music. I’d honestly much rather listen to Limp Bizkit. At least there’s the chance of something interesting going on in the instrumentals.

What’s worse is that there’s actually something close to rapping in this album. What the fuck? Emmure have combined nu-metal with deathcore. The apocalypse is among us, surely. Those annoying half-singing half-talking vocal sections are as annoying as ever. That psuedo-psychopathic mumbling comes across as juvenile and are processed to be detuned. What kind of asshole gimmickry is that? Even the melodic sections are sloppy and simple, like they wanted to play downtuned Blink-182 covers or a half-assed retarded version of Deftones. It isn’t delivered well at all.

Oh, and speaking of gimmickry…

I think I’ve said enough about this pile of bro-tal fratboy deathcore. This album gets worse as it goes along, and is definitely proof that deathcore is totally shit.

Here’s this pile.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HiaAk1Xti5c]

– JR

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