With the release of the Lou Reed/Metallica undead abortion of a musical “endeavor” right around the corner, and it’s obligatory internet leak floating around, my mind started to stray to other musical projects of absolute revulsion and stupidity. I decided to chronicle the various pieces of music that not only activate my gag reflex, but also seem to inject me with a bit of entertainment at just how terrible of a thing they are.
5# Rebecca Black – Friday
I really didn’t want to include this — I really, really didn’t — but how could I not? No offense to the little lady, but this is the absolute worst way to start out a career as a professional musician. Who on Earth is going to take her seriously after this piece of garbage? The only redeeming quality it has is the fact that it’s so damn quotable. Being a high school student in The U.S. means that the best things are those with loads of quotes to dish out . So instead of having to be witty or an interesting conversationalist, you just have to quote various lines from funny movies, or not so funny abominations such as The Room, or Rebecca Black. Almost a year after the release of this song I still hear “GOTTA GET DOWN ON FRIDAY” being shouted or recited through the halls of my school at the end of the week, or when someone is discussing the plans for their weekend. Annoying? Yes. Is it going away? No. I almost feel bad for this girl. This thing is going to haunt her for the rest of her life, and the only thing she’s going to have to console her pain is the tremendous amounts of money she made off of it. Oh…Fuck.
#4 Rockstar Supernova
While not being able to claim the quotability value of gems like Friday, Rockstar Supernova has always held a warm spot in my heart for just how unbelievably terrible and generic it is. Which I guess isn’t all that much of a surprise seeing as it was spawned from a reality show. The band is a so called “Supergroup” like the Justice League of America, or the Republican National Committee, but unlike those two powerful entities, Rockstar Supernova has no super powers other than being un-listenable garbage. The saddest part about this group, aside from the fact that they all probably contracted Hepatitis from Tommy Lee, is that this band actually has some talent. Despite what you may think of Metallica, Guns N’ Roses or Mötley Crüe, all three of those bands put out some really cool stuff in the past and, while none of them are anywhere near my favorite band, I do think some respect is owed to the individual members that make up Rockstar Supernova. Hell, even the singer whose name I don’t care to remember had some decent chops. Unfortunately, like I said above, this thing was spawned from a FUCKING REALITY TV SHOW! That automatically exempts it from being anything other than atrocious. I think this band could have pulled some pretty impressive music together but it was clear from the beginning that they were only in it for the publicity and, of course, the fucking money. So while Rockstar Supernova missed their chance to do anything remotely good, you can still hold onto the hope that maybe, just maybe, someday Lady Gaga and Katy Perry will end up doing a reality show spawned collaboration with a 15 year old Russian hermaphrodite.
