If you’re too slow to work the title out, you inbred child of your mother’s brother and his female kinsperson, then let me spell  out the details for you: tech-metal hillbillies Protest The Hero, faeces-throwing chugga chimps Periphery, The Mighty Raven himself Mr. Jeff Loomis and UK pyromaniacs The Safety Fire are thought to be be touring them United States Of ‘Murica this March!

I think I’ve eaten too many e-numbers today. Bear with me.

So yes, the word going round the interwebs (and you can blame Lambgoat is this is wrong) is that these four worthy acts will be teaming up for four weeks from late March to hit the road in a town possibly but not necessarily near you, depending on your arbitrary scale of nearness. Yes.

Nothing official as of yet, so again, don’t shoot me if I’m wrong, but dates are thought to be as follows:

3/25 Chicago, IL @ Bottom Lounge
3/26 Lawrence, KS @ Granada
3/27 Dallas, TX @ Trees
3/28 Houston, TX @ Warehouse Live
3/30 Albuquerque, NM @ Sunshine
3/31 Phoenix, AZ @ Club Red
4/1 Los Angeles, CA @ Key Club
4/2 San Francisco, CA @ Slim’s
4/3 Portland, OR @ The Branx
4/4 Seattle, WA @ Studio Seven
4/6 Salt Lake City, UT @ In The Venue
4/7 Denver, CO @ Summit
4/9 St. Louis, MO @ Pops
4/10 Milwaukee, WI @ The Rave II
4/11 Detroit, MI @ Magic Stick
4/12 Columbus, OH @ The Outland Ballroom
4/13 Cleveland, OH @ Grog Shop
4/14 Baltimore, MD @ Sonar
4/16 Atlanta, GA @ Masquerade
4/17 Orlando, FL @ The Social
4/18 Raleigh, NC @ Lincoln Theater
4/20 New York, NY @ Gramercy
4/22 Philadelphia, PA @ Trocadero

Not a bad line-up at all. Protest The Hero and Periphery both seem to have been on an endless string of tours with amazing line-ups of late. Long may it continue, no?

- CG