Five Reasons Why Deathcore Is Total Shit_Heavy Blog Is Heavy

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Inspired by GroverXIII of TNOTB’s series of posts regarding nu-metal, Heavy Blog Is Heavy will be counting down the top five reasons why the genre of deathcore is totally full of shit. If you want to throw in your two cents and call me out on missing out a gem that this genre has to offer, mouth off in the comment section. Be sure to check out my Five Reasons Why Deathcore Isn’t Total Shit for some better music. Enjoy!

So far…
#5. Oceano – Depths
#4. Emmure – Felony
#3. We Butter The Bread With Butter – Das Monster Aus Dem Schrank
#2. Wecamewithbrokenteeth – We’re Packing, Are You?

There was no avoiding it. I knew all week that I would have to listen to this album for this countdown and was dreading it. You knew it was going to happen, as it’s obvious that the self proclaimed “Kingpins of Death” in Waking The Cadaver would rear their ugly heads this week. When you’re talking about shitty deathcore, it’s hard to ignore the elephant in the room. Great minds think alike, I suppose.

I must start out by saying that I hate slam with every ounce in me. It has to be some of the dumbest music I’ve ever heard. Sure, sometimes it’s technical, but that isn’t everything. The vocals are shit, and to me, there’s very limited quality to be found in this subgenre. But when it comes to scraping the bottom of the barrel in terms of musical quality, there’s no doubt in my mind that Waking The Cadaver is the worst of the worst, especially on their album Perverse Recollections of a Necromangler. I’ve heard some of their newer stuff from their upcoming Beyond Cops. Beyond God. and they dropped much of their brutal slam sound in favor of a less shitty generic deathcore sound, but even still, the face of music will be forever tarnished by the shit stain in the undies of deathcore.

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Inspired by GroverXIII of TNOTB’s series of posts regarding nu-metal, Heavy Blog Is Heavy will be counting down the top five reasons why the genre of deathcore is totally full of shit. If you want to throw in your two cents and call me out on missing out a gem that this genre has to offer, mouth off in the comment section. Be sure to check out my Five Reasons Why Deathcore Isn’t Total Shit for some better music. Enjoy!

So far…
#5. Oceano – Depths
#4. Emmure – Felony
#3. We Butter The Bread With Butter – Das Monster Aus Dem Schrank

This is the first and last time this band will ever be mentioned on this site. Ever.

Sometimes you’d be surprised at what microgenres actually exist. Case in point: cyber deathcore. Let’s take it back a few years and take a look at what it took to get semi-famous. Here’s all you needed: A pirated copy of FL Studio, a myspace page, and a legion of dumbass scene kids with a misconception of what grindcore is exactly, and you have success on your hands.

That was the case with Wecamewithbrokenteeth. All the instrumentation is programmed synth, including guitars. You think you’ve heard the shittiest of the shitty? Just wait till you hear some BREEEEEEs thrown over top of the lowest audible notes in FL Slayer with phasers set to CHUG. Throw some lame synth lines and movie samples here and there, while you’re at it. It’s worse than you could imagine.

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Inspired by GroverXIII of TNOTB’s series of posts regarding nu-metal, Heavy Blog Is Heavy will be counting down the top five reasons why the genre of deathcore is totally full of shit. If you want to throw in your two cents and call me out on missing out a gem that this genre has to offer, mouth off in the comment section. Be sure to check out my Five Reasons Why Deathcore Isn’t Total Shit for some better music. Enjoy!

So far…
#5. Oceano – Depths
#4. Emmure – Felony

Not content with having the stupidest fucking name in existence, We Butter The Bread With Butter have sullied their potential to be a halfway decent deathcore band by including obnoxious 8-bit synth lines and electronica, breakdowns around every single corner, and being way too comfortable with brees and pig squeals, almost as if they were being psuedo-ironic (or ironically ironic). Fucking scene kids these days…

I’ve never seen anything other than promo shots of this band, but I can imagine the lowest squatting and the tightest jeans imaginable, bobbing in sync as the lyrics (often times being literally “BREEEE”, I shit you not) are screamed. They even have a song called “Breekachu“, for Christ’s sake. Breekachu. Before one of the breakdowns in “Alle meine Entchen,” the guys do a group chant and yell “BREAKDOWN! WOO!” Then, many BREEs are had. I’m listening to this album as I type this (yeah, I’ve been doing this all week. My negative opinions will not just be me blowing smoke) and I just keep telling myself “these guys can’t be serious.” Sadly, they just might be.

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Inspired by GroverXIII of TNOTB’s series of posts regarding nu-metal, Heavy Blog Is Heavy will be counting down the top five reasons why the genre of deathcore is totally full of shit. If you want to throw in your two cents and call me out on missing out a gem that this genre has to offer, mouth off in the comment section. Be sure to check out my Five Reasons Why Deathcore Isn’t Total Shit for some better music. Enjoy!
So far…

#5. Oceano – Depths

Emmure. Where to fucking start?

Well, Emmure are a bunch of bros who grew up listening Limp Bizkit. They were a bit too late to the rapcore game, so they jumped into the deathcore crowd and based their sound around breakdowns. Actually, that’s all there is. Breakdowns fucking everywhere. Have you ever seen an Emmure guitar tab? It looks like binary code for idiots. This music was designed so there could be no possible way to fuck it up when playing it drunk.

Lyrical content is as vapid as one would expect. How anyone could ever say “Ask ya girl what my dick tastes like” unironically is beyond me, but Emmure manages to bring out many facepalm worthy lines such as that in their ever classy “R2DEEPTHROAT,” which Gein tells me is apparently a diss track (lol) to Acacia Strain. I don’t know if I’ve ever heard dumber music. I’d honestly much rather listen to Limp Bizkit. At least there’s the chance of something interesting going on in the instrumentals.

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Inspired by GroverXIII of TNOTB’s series of posts regarding nu-metal, Heavy Blog Is Heavy will be counting down the top five reasons why the genre of deathcore is totally full of shit. If you want to throw in your two cents and call me out on missing out a gem that this genre has to offer, mouth off in the comment section. Be sure to check out my Five Reasons Why Deathcore Isn’t Total Shit for some better music. Enjoy!


You will find that breakdowns will be a major theme going this week. Some bands use breakdowns for an actual musical purpose instead of an excuse to mosh, but you won’t be seeing any of that this week. It’s all fucking terrible and contrived palm muted open note chugging, all without polyrhythms to make them technical. This week, we’ll start out small before delving into some real shit. There is just too much terrible music in this genre to do a countdown of the worst of the worst, as I refuse to listen to all of it. Instead, I’m just giving you five examples of terrible deathcore, which get worse each time, unlike last week where I counted down my favorites. Let’s get started, shall we?

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